Two weekends ago I had the privilege of going away with 2 of my favorite people on this planet. It was a breath of fresh air and it was perfect. I mean, like was it really perfect? No, there was some weird shit that went down with flights and people and energy of others- but in our little triangle, it was perfect. We fall right back into sync, just like when we spent every minute with each other and lived fully in the present. These mamas bring out the best and worst of me, actually they bring out all of me.
I recognize how lucky I am to have friends like this, and they aren't even the only 2. I have 4 friends who have been in my life for more than 1/2 of it. They're a constant even when we're not in the presence of each other. Too much life has been lived together to have it any other way. We've been through the very highs and the very lows and everything in between. I have learned more about life and friendship from these now women/wives/moms than I think I'll ever comprehend. And I just keep learning.
One of my friends who loves sayings taught me one when we were away. She used to tell her now adult daughter to "share her smile"and she's the one who reminded me that "I get to" not "have to" when it comes to activities with my kids. That weekend, her big saying was "Not my rodeo, not my circus." And you know what? THAT IS NOW THE ONLY SAYING I'M EVER USING AGAIN. Recognizing your place in a situation is a skill. Knowing when to back off and stay in your lane takes practice. Reminding yourself that the weight of the world does not have to be on your shoulders at all times can feel liberating.
I have always had this habit of imagining what it's like to be in another's shoes. This is partly due to my empathic nature, and it can be beneficial in some situations. BUT (and this is one of thousands of examples) when I see a pile of 400 bricks lying on the sidewalk and start to think about how the hell that is all going to get done- that's where I've now started to draw the line. I'm many things, but I'm not a mason. I have no intention of being a mason. I am finally learning to see the bricks and move on. I am not entertaining my "mason thoughts" any longer. I'm learning to stay in my gd lane, and run my own rodeo and circus. Do me a favor and use this saying once this week, and see how freeing it can feel!
Thank you to my beautiful friends for loving me like they do.
And goodnight, my moonlight ladies.